9/25/2005
I guess my story isn't much different from anybody else on breast cancer or going thru chemo, but after some encouragement from some friends and after talking with and sharing with a person who was going thru chemo, hopefully, helping them along, I decided to write about my experience. It was something that at first I didn't want to talk about, let alone write about, I just wanted to get thru it. So I understand that some people don't want to talk about it or think about it but to be truthful at one time or another that person will want to because it is a life changing experience.
The whole year had really been messed up. Late last year, I had found a lump about the size of an egg. At first, I thought it was a cysts and ignored it. But it got to be more and more painful as it was higher up my chest and left me winded all the time. At first, I didn't want to tell anybody because I was embarrassed about it. I was 33 years old and this wasn't suppose to happen to someone my age. I finally decided to tell someone and went and got a mammogram. They confirmed the size of the lump. You could clearly see it on the ex-ray, couldn't miss that for nothing. The doctor told me that they needed me to have an biopsy to see if it was malignant or not. I thought that it might be a fiber lump or benign. That big needle scared me to death--looked like a cattle prod. But it didn't hurt as much as the smaller needle. The results came back negative, but I needed to get that lump out regardless because it was pressing on my chest. So, I had my first surgery ever and I was scared. They knocked me completely out, I wanted to stay awake and see the lump being taken out. I know that is morbid but it was a part of me and I wanted to see it. I don't remember a thing. So, I guess I didn't do a good job with that. They took the lump to Iowa City to have it analyzed. I waited for a whole week for the results. It seem liked forever. I just can't get over how long they make you wait for something like this. It was a life changing experience and I had to wait a week! It was crazy. I tried not to think about it but it was no good. But it came back positive. I had stage 2 breast cancer. I was shocked, I didn't know what to do. I never asked why me or anything, just what I am going to do now. So I went thru 6 months of grueling months of chemo. The first four I got very sick and the last four I had bone pain but I got thru it. When I was finished, I thought I had it licked just to find that I had a recurrence. I had bone pain in my back. The cancer had weaken my back. I was now a stage 4. I went thru 22 sessions of radiation. The doctors now have me on Arimidex. Which is a hormone pill. They are trying to get me thru menopause. They say that breast cancer is mostly estrogen related. So here now at 34 years old, I am having hot and cold flashes so it is kind of strange to go thru that. They tell me it will slow down the cancer spreading or have it be dormant. I am hopeful that things will work out.